Met you along time ago.. i remember your face.. you were trying to make it in, want my time or place.. you'll make it in, for sure... you got in my head and i don't want to go..

As i sat down beside you on the floor.. this is so much scarier than before.. scary in a beautiful place.. you'll make it big, for sure.. this isnt a dream and i dont wanna go..

And if i wake up i hope you'll be by my side.. making it good making me feel alive, give in to this and i will be your guide, you wont need your mask and you wont have to hide.....

sjees... i got the best job offer ever!!! mijn oude baan wil mij terug in the best way ever!! mijn droombaan heb ik aangeboden gekregen en dus meteen aangenomen!! its like fucking awsome!!!

but im so fucked up sad.. coz i cant share this with him... i cant call him and tell him that what we always hoped for finaly happened!! 6 months we were hoping for this to happen.. and now it happened and i cant share this... with the one i love (damn shit conio.. i still love him)

hoe dubbel is dit?? i dunno...

just makes me feel like... like i want him back. i want us back.. just like we were before... we were so happy...

mijn god mensen... ik word net wakker van de meest fucked up dream i ever had... mijn god...

ik ben gister wezen stappen and had fun, maar soms dacht ik aan hem en hoe wij uitgingen en used to have fun and.. yeah just really painful...

en nu.. i woke up.. damn... die droom.. ik droomde dat mijn M. was dood gegaan.. janken natuurlijk, maar toen hoorden we dat het ee foutje was van de docter (damn.. ??? whatever)

toen belde ik hem op en hij nam op.. we spraken wat en toen versprak hij zich en zei hij dat hij een vriendin had.. dus ik fucked up schreeuwen van yea and you said you didnt want one, who is she? who is she?

Isnt it just a little bitch, to be forced to make that switch.. making yet another mistake... You're so "great"

like a jack in a box with a string to pull you back in.. never be free never do things you wanna be.. dress up like a clown, that will get you no where..

just wipe off your smile and take that to your grave...

sorry... im just.. angry and i dont even know why or what or.. im so confused and mixed up.. damnit..

...i hate to love him.. and love to hate him...

im crying so hard... right now.. the tears wont stop.. and i cant stop the hurting.. no mather how hard i try..

the only thing i can ask myself is WHY? WHY? PAKIKO? WHY GODDAMNIT!!!

Am i so.. verschrikkelijk? ugly? stupid? awful? that he needs to leave me like this? and push me away?

shit man.. i feel so sad right now.. the tears keep on comming.. rollen langs mijn wangen...

help me.. tell me its gonna be okay.. he'll be back.. didnt forget about me... tell me.. he'll regret and will come crawling back to me..

help me.. i'm so lost...

If one night a fat man comes and stuffs you in a bag

... do not freak....

I told Santa ... I wanted you for Christmas....

damn....

voel me raar, afwezig, dromerig, numb, not here, onaangenaam verdoofd, sad, confused, inlove, not inlove, hate, anger, like i wanna move on, i want him outta my head, wil niet meer aan hem denken.. als je dan toch moet gaan.. go.. nu dan ook meteen!! get the fuck outta my life! but please dont forget me and come back to me...

ben ik schitso? of... weird? of... nuts? koekoek??

keep thinking bout everything we used to do.. alles wat we hebben gedaan, wat we zouden doen, wat er is gezegd, hoe gelukkig we waren, de lieve dingen die hij zei.. its all comming back to me... and it fucking hurts..