"I hope you are doing ok. I know our last conversation was a tough one
and I'm sorry things didnt work out the way we had hoped. I'm finding
it difficult, but I know I had to make this decision. Which, as I said
to you before, does not mean I've suddenly stopped caring for you, I
care for you a great deal and truly hope we can keep in touch."

"It saddens me that this is so hard for you, but I hope you will be
able to let it go.
Maybe some day we will be able to have a special connection and well,
who knows. But for now, I want to go on and I can't continue this
dialogue."

"Right now I must say it does not make too much sense to talk over the
phone. You've told me clearly that a friendship would be too much to
handle for you and I've told you clearly that a relationship i do not
want, so what can come out of it? I am not the person to turn to to
heal a broken heart, don't you understand that? You can't call the
person that instigated it and then tell that person you're in pain.
Also I'm not willing to listen to any promises or questions about what
we had any more. We've gone thrue it, I'm not going to do it over and
over again. I've made up my mind and i'm very sure about my decision."

"In your last mail you wrote that it would be unbearable for you to
only be my friend, so the only thing i can conclude is that you want
contact for other reasons.
I do think it would be better not to speak for a while, let it rest a
littlebit 'till the sharpest edges are gone, but that's just my
opinion. Ofcourse you can still phone me but I suspect that a phone
converstation now would just go back to the same thing, I know it
sounds harsh, but dear, that's what happens when people break up.
One person is always the bad guy and I do not want to feel like the
bad guy anymore. So any talk with you, making me feel that way, just
makes me want to take more distance. It may be hard to understand, but
I'm trying to explain it as well as I can. I haven't cut off all
communication, I still mail you, don't I? I also log in to msn now and
then.
Just let it rest for a while and then see if we can be friends."

"It's sad that you are struggling so much with yourself, with your
life. I do trust though that you will find your path at some point and
you will be ok then.
I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to stop calling me frequently. Right
now I feel a friendship is out of the question and it will not be
possible untill the sharpest edges are gone.
I wish you strength and optimism."

Weet je wat dit zijn? Mailtjes van mij aan iemand waar ik 8 jaar geleden de relatie mee beëindigde. Hij was een Engelsman. Ik moet erg vaak terugdenken aan die situatie nu, nu ik in de schoenen sta van de andere partij. Nu ik de mailtjes van toen terug lees begrijp ik véél beter hoe hij zich voelt. Ik schrik er ook wel een beetje van, want ik had heel rigoureus de knoop doorgehakt en slechts een paar maanden later ontmoette ik mijn grote liefde (helaas liep dat anders af dan gepland). Het besef dat mijn kersverse ex zich wellicht nu voelt zoals ik toen...verschrikkelijk...
Ik miste die ex namelijk helemaal niet, ik had heel veel rust bij de beslissing, voelde me schuldig - dat wel, maar ook erg opgelucht, bevrijd in een sense zelfs.
Anderzijds misschien ook wel goed om hierbij stil te staan, niets menselijks is ons vreemd en what goes around comes around. Heartbreakers become heartbroken en visa versa.

Oh en by the way, de ex in deze mailwisseling is uiteindelijk inderdaad een goede vriend geworden, na een tijd van geen contact. Is na een paar maanden mailen in een ruzie uitgemond (hij bleef bloemen sturen, bellen, etcetera) en toen heb ik het contact volledig verbroken. Een half jaar later hebben we elkaar weer gezien en daarna was het wel mogelijk om gewoon leuk met elkaar om te gaan. We geven elkaar zelfs nog wel eens relatie-advies...(wat erg goed werkt gezien ik op dit forum zit ahum)