Hoi,

Wat ik me afvraag is of onderstaande tekst dé sleutel is tot het terugwinnen van een ex. Natuurlijk zijn alle situaties anders, maar als er nog een kansje is om een ex terug te winnen, dan zou dit in mijn optiek mogelijk de beste manier kunnen zijn. De tekst is wel in het Engels. Ik heb geen tijd om het helemaal te vertalen.

Wat zijn jullie gedachten hierover? Ik ben zelf niet zo van het spelen van spelletjes, maar onderstaande lijkt echt wel een grote kern van waarheid te bevatten.

"You can feel them pulling away. You can see it. They may have even said it straight out, "I'm leaving you." Often this sets off a number of emotional alarm clocks at their highest volume and intensity. Few times in life is it easier to panic. Few times in life is it more important you don't.

It feels like a disaster doesn't it? Well you've watched disaster movies. You know how it goes. The ones who panic die off early in the movie. They are small part actors and you never remember their names. The one's who keep their heads in the crisis tend to walk out of the flaming building with the other most attractive character on their arm. If you want to win them back you must make a decision now to either panic and most likely lose your goal before you get close to it or to get in your brain, utilize your anxiety, depression, anger, and loneliness. And while you're at it don't forget to utilize rather than suffer all that pain you've been given.

Chances are you're getting a lot of conflicting advice from folks. It all boils down to fish or cut bait. The advice I give to win a love back starts with the same advice as for letting go.Let go.

Romance, love, sex, it's always a dance. It's all back and forward, back and forward. When your love pulls back, then back again and you are still moving forward, it's no longer a dance, it's a chase. And what do people do when we chase after their affection? They run.

I imagine your love is prepared for the chase to continue, and if I'm right it makes them feel guilty. How often does guilt buy love and attraction? Not often. I've never seen it. Have you?

If anything will work at all it is to let go. Not let go and sit home and suffer, but let go and go have a blast every day. This may sound impossible. But if your love is strong enough, if your goal of winning them back is compelling enough; you can do anything you have to do. Letting go and having a blast strengthens your position several ways.

It surprises them. They have taken your suffering for granted. They assume it. That's the person they're dumping. Who the hell is this person having so much fun? Curiosity is compelling. You get happy and relaxed with this and it hits them like a bucket of cold water that they don't know you quite as well as they thought they did.

We're all sexier and more attractive when we're having a blast than when we're depressed. It's far more compelling than making them responsible for our happiness.
When they see beyond a shadow of a doubt you're no longer chasing after their affection they can quit running and make their decision based on what they want instead of the chase they're running from.
We often take each other for granted. Part of the reason you've stopped taking them for granted right now is they've pulled back. The water in the well really is running dry. If your love will come back it will be after "they" realize all that's missing from life without you. They can't know what that is till you've pulled back as well.

Impatience is your enemy. It compells you to take action out of fear and we know that causes more mistakes and bigger mistakes. Generally impatience cannot be just pressed down, it creeps out and peeps out when you least expect it. Impatience is just that little voice inside your head that tells you, you can't be happy until you know your love is glad to be back. There's only one thing that really squashes impatience - making yourself go have so much fun every day that your brain has to go, "well, duuuuh, guess I can be happy right now and continue taking strategic actions towards my goal." A former Boss of mine had a standard rule for submitting loan applications, "Don't hurry up to get a turn down." If it's important, you must focus more on getting it right than doing it in a hurry.

I promise you , you're far more likely to win them back the more you enjoy this process and the less you suffer it. If you think that's impossible, think again. The most successful people on earth choose to enjoy challenges rather than be swamped by them. You must only make a decision now whether or not this goal is important enough for you to use your head or unimportant enough for you to allow your compulsions to defeat you. It's up to you.

I've seen this advice bring couples back together after restraining orders have been issued and clients have been arrested for breaking them. I don't guarantee it to work everytime and it works better than anything else. And if it doesn't work to win them back, in the process you've been strengthened and prepared to let go for good far more comfortably than you are right now.

Your fear is that if you let go you'll lose them. In fact you're more likely to lose them if you don't.

Strip your mate of their pride, and you strip them of their soul. You have to let go of something, before you can get it. You have to stop needing something, in order for it to be freely given to you. If you live in a constant state of self-protection, you always will be alone.

If you hold prisoner a life it's only desire is to get free. The harder you hold, the more they need to flee.
Did you know that, contrary to popular belief, you can change other people - simply by changing yourself.
How we treat another is a cycle of how we feel they treat us. This can be good, or bad, depending solely on ourselves and our efforts of communication. Also, this works both ways - how they treat us is how they feel we treat them. Do unto others...

You are the only one that can save your relationship. It is not up to your spouse/mate to change their mind or decision, it is up to you to change yours. When you are on the begging end of a relationship, you are putting your partner in the driver's seat. You can gain back the driver's seat and steer your relationship in a better direction by getting out of drive and putting your efforts in reverse.

When another person opposes you they may do one of four things (in this order): They resist, attack, withdraw, or flee. Rarely, if ever, do they happily, or willingly, surrender. You can save your relationship, and stop your breakup, but first you have to stop resisting the breakup. Without even knowing it, by working at our relationships we actually do more harm than good.

It only takes one partner to save the relationship. You need to stop your resistance to things in your life that you have no control over. Learn the peaceful release that comes with acceptance and letting go. Release your upsets and fears and give them back to themselves, and you gain control. Hold onto them and resist them and you lose control.

When you repeatedly try to change someone, they actually shut down and stop responding to you. They resist our efforts, either by staying and fighting our controlling actions, or by taking flight and leaving us. Eventually they lose all desire to stay and completely shut down from us and the relationship.

Our pain and hurt is not caused by other people, or uncomfortable situations. Pain and hurt in our lives is caused by our own resistance to accepting situations, certain experiences, or unwanted occurrences. The minute we stop fighting and resisting the event we take our pain away.

You can not stop a divorce, or a breakup, unless and until you let go of resisting it, and learn to accept it. Realize that you will be okay, no matter what. And you will! The moment you let go of something you actually gain control over it. Letting go is actually the greatest weapon we have. We can overpower and overcome just about anything and anyone simply by letting go of them.

We naturally fear losing anything that is important to our lives, be that of our mates, our jobs, our home, our possessions, or our friends. The more we fear losing them the more we resist, holding on even tighter. We can become manipulative, challenging, controlling, threatening, helpless, promising, clinging, pleading, proposing, conniving, over-bearing, weepy, sappy, panicky, submissive, etc. The more we try to use these forms of manipulation, the more we are likely to lose what we have. The more we let go of ownership over these things and stop our resistance to losing them - and the more we are willing and accepting of losing them - the more likely we are to keep them in our lives. The loss of something in our lives is not the end of the world. Remember, the most beautiful things in your life started out in a situation where you had to let go of something and venture into the unknown.

By accepting and being willing to the fact that you may lose your loved one, you stop your resistance and fear associated with it and trust that you will be okay. This, in turn, eliminates your need to have them in your life. And when you let go of someone you allow them to stop running from you. They naturally feel more comfortable around you and willingly return without fear. When you can fully admit your own role and mistakes, you gain back their support for you.

Letting go is in accepting that all loss hurts, but that you will be okay, no matter what. Avoiding painful situations by holding on only exaggerates and extends the amount of our pain.
Ask yourself, 'what is the worse that will happen?' You will lose your spouse? Well, no..not really - by accepting the fact that you never really have anyone but yourself, can you realize that only in losing yourself do you really suffer loss. And you can only lose yourself to someone else. Why would you want to do that? They already have a life, and if you hand your's over to them then they will have two lives and you won't have any!

Acknowledging your fears is the key to letting them go. The more you fight and resist the breakup the more the inevitable conclusion that it will occur. However, by accepting that it might happen, by stopping your resistance to it, and by allowing the flood of emotions that occur..you are taking a major step toward stopping the breakup. You stop your breakup by actually being willing to let it happen, and by being okay with that outcome. The key to peace in letting go is by admitting that it's okay to lose.