okay.. morgen is het 4 weken geleden dat we hebben gesproken... ik heb geen neiging gehad om hem te bellen of smsen.. wil wel dat hij mij belt... of smst...

but i'm strong... i'm one tough cookie!!! zucht...
i got a date on saturday... yeah.. dunno why.. im so scared and dont wanna do this, but.. i gotta move on.. sure its not M. but hey... no mather how hard i want him to be M. he'll never be.. so.. lets give this new guy a chance...

this really translate my feelings into words...

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard, a handful of complaints, but I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars

I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I doI can't convince you to just believe this is real...
So I let go watching you, turn your back like you always do, Face away and pretend that I'm not, but I'll be here coz you're all that I got

I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me...I won't be ignored!!!

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident, coz you don't understand,I do what I can, but sometimes I don't make sense.... I am what you never want to say, but I've never had a doubt, it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you for once just to hear me out..... So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do, face away and pretend that I'm not, but I'll be here, coz you're all that I got

damnit..... i am strong... i will not give in..

help...